tuesday #1.

We're driving in pouring rain right now. There's a big thunderstorm all around us. This is how Colorado has chosen to welcome us. Its pretty righteous.

The kids are in front of screens, as am I, and Alex is driving. It isn't easy for me to let him drive. First of all, I get sorta carsick if I'm not driving. Secondly, he tends to look at the scenery first and the road second. Not all the time, but enough that it makes me nervous.

Right now he's doing a good job, though. I'll give him that.

We went to Arches National Park today. I don't believe in much, other than avocados and the power of homebirth, but I do believe that there is some kind of majesty in those red rock walls. I've never seen anything like it. It was a cathedral. I was in awe.

The kids, however, said things like, "Is this it?" and "This is so BORING." Which officially makes this a real roadtrip. As if it wasn't already.

The backseat organization is a pain in my ass. There is constant drama surrounding lost items, and I am amazed at my children's inability to actually look for things. They cry and say "It's NOT THERE!" with accusation in their voice and then inevitably it's just underneath the first thing on top of their pile.

When do kids start actually looking and finding their own stuff?

Backseat song right now from Milo: "Your butt has never smelled that good . . ."

Selkie is immersed in watching "Mary Poppins". For the sixteenth time in her life.

We've already found 42 state license plates. I long to see Hawaii.

We really are doing okay so far. I think we're all tired. We're weary of some aspects of the road life, like trying to find restaurants. It doesn't help when one member of the family is vegan. But we're doing okay.

When I was a kid and we lived in Indiana for a while, my family would take road trips a few times a year to Massachusetts to see relatives. I remember these so well, almost as well as I can remember anything. My brothers and I would lay down in the back of our station wagon, with all the seats completely flat, and we'd have sleeping bags and pillows and blankets and our dog Mindy. We never ever wore seatbelts.

My parents drove practically non-stop for 1000 miles. They took turns, switching in rest areas. They bought these ugly brown square pillows that took two D batteries, and we're supposed to give you a butt massage as you drove. They made a lot of noise, those pillows.

My brothers and I would argue and fight but we'd also play astronaut, and lay on our backs and press buttons up on the ceiling. We often thought about mooning people in the other cars. I can't be certain that my brother Jarrod didn't moon anyone. It wouldn't surprise me if he actually did.

I slept a lot, and especially remember driving back for Christmas, feeling the freezing windows and being scared about my dad driving in the ice and snow. It was thrilling.

Now I'm in the front seat, co-pilot style, and my kids are strapped down for safety behind me. My kids. How can it be that I have my own kids? How can it be?

Sigh.

We just drove by a gas station called "Kum and Go."

Come to think of it, I'm so glad that I am an adult now and can appreciate that sign.