and just like that, i am driving on shady roads. dappled, hidden curves, spots of sunlight poking through; i realize that this is such a novelty to me now after riding in cars in Los Angeles for the past 21 years.
i drive around here in borrowed cars, smiling out loud at the "turtle crossing" signs. when i walk i see the remains of dead frogs who didn't make it across the street in time. i hear all the birds sing and they sound more fulfilled than the birds in Los Angeles, if such a thing is possible.
and the clouds. good god almighty, the clouds. filled up, soaked in their own glory, the possibility of water from them to me is almost too much for me to bear.
i am inundated with the beauty around me, here in New England.
but still, i miss my people. i miss the dogs who adore me, who sit on the new red couch, waiting patiently for us to come back. i miss feeling like i am part of something that needs me.
here, i am just floating along for a while, and i'm not sure it does me good. i mean, i know it does me good, this vacationing, this down time, this simplicity of day; but it is difficult sometimes.
between two worlds is my place in this life. i have always been that way, and perhaps always will be.
when i am there, i miss here.
when i am here, i miss there.
constantly searching for the home that i know is just hidden inside my gut, if only i could reach it more readily.
but damn, massachusetts, you know how to wreak havoc with a girl's heart.
