rainy days and mondays

its been raining all day long. turns out that when its humid and rainy, my hair gets a little bit wavy. it almost looks like it could have some life in it. its a pleasant little shock to realize this.

i drove back and forth to nashua, new hampshire twice today, following the rural back roads that i have memorized only from years of use. no clue about names of towns i'm driving through. no sense of direction or surety of street names. just pure physical driving memory, which only seems to work in the daytime. at night i'm inevitably lost.

whenever i see cows, which is quite often, i lovingly shout "hello, beauties!"

there is something so heartwarming to know that i can walk into a marshall's or tj maxx and find an entire section of red sox gear for men, women and children. i could have bought my own red sox shirt today, but i didn't. it just pleased me to know that the option was there.

milo and selkie went to their first camp of the summer today, a local day camp held at a junior high school. they both walked in and quickly said goodbye without looking back, as alex and i left them with complete strangers for the first time in their lives. it was disconcerting. it was exciting. i was happy to realize that i thought they both could handle it. and selkie did. she had a blast; told me all about the drawing "contest" the counselors had given the kids and how the winners got silly bandz. (i kept my mouth shut about it but jesus, a drawing contest for six year olds? could anything make me want to scream more?) milo, on the other hand, first reported the sports camp was fine and then as the evening went on dissolved into heavy tears, explaining that "everyone was so mean, EVERYONE" and told stories about the bigger boys taking away his ball and not giving it back to him. (those assholes.) he's going back tomorrow, despite his protests otherwise, but he may switch to the younger camp, just to keep his heart safe.

later tomorrow we are taking our children to fenway park for their first game, thanks to the luck of the gods and a good friend of alex's who was kind enough to give us tickets. twelve rows up the third base line tickets. sox vs. rays. my children under the lights of fenway. i don't actually know if i can handle this or not. it makes me remember my first time at fenway when i was seven or so, wearing my homemade rick burleson uniform (#7) and sitting next to my brother in his official rico petrocelli uniform and eating ice cream out of little plastic sox hats.

it was so beautiful. even then, as a little kid, i knew how gorgeous that ballpark was. and now i get to introduce it to my kids.

i can't take it.

i'm meandering all over the place tonight. can't find a thru-line to this post except that i am here writing it. which may be enough.

the rain sounds like magic.