sum sum summatime.

here at my high school house, sitting on the old blue couch, listening to the sounds of screaming in the backyard as my kids and their cousins desperately try to destroy my husband in the pool while my mother eggs them on.

ah, summer.

s'mores in the backyard over the fire pit.  milo gloating about his nearly (truly) perfect roasted marshmallow.  the mosquitoes floating by, buzzing hellos in my ear while i swat at them like a madwoman.

making and cleaning up dinner.  for everyone.  drinking water from the tap with glee.  planning my escape when i can; walking the neighborhood this morning and being incredulous at the numerous patches of shade for me to find on the sidewalks.

hello, clouds, you sexy things.

farm stands, Red Sox broadcasts, my mother admonishing all of us to turn off the lights, the crispness of this morning's towel after a shower.

this, because my mother loves to hang-dry her clothes.  

the towel made a snapping noise as i unfolded it.  i kid you not.  it's a brand-new kind of exfoliation.

massholes in their cars, god bless 'em.  my daughter beaming at her life and scat-singing "shade of blue" with her cousin.  inviting her grandfather to a tea party in the garden, and being so grateful to be here among the trees.

taking breaths when i have to, which is every minute.  choosing blessings over battles, which is because i am older now.  laughing without thought, which is a defense mechanism and my favorite kind of armor.

this is me in the state where i was born.  i am familiar to it, and it is kin to me.  state of place-state of purpose.

four things to do everyday: exercise, meditate, floss and write.  vacation goals that scream for me to meet them with bravado and passion.  the flossing especially.

this is the first full day here, the one that always makes me swell with love for this place of places.  

in a few days i'll start to miss my people back where i am known through and through, back where brown skin is everywhere and the smell of carnitas fills the air, back where my dogs greet me each morning with love and licks and where my cat demands immediate attention. back where i belong, let's be honest, because Los Angeles is mi familia now.

but still, for tonight, as i sit here listening to the kids still shouting (wondering which adult back there will finally tell them it's time to get out and take showers and go to bed), occasionally looking back through the window in hopes of seeing some bats tonight--for tonight, i am going to allow myself to sink into this massachusetts state of mind.