i had just seen louise fitzhugh's original pen and ink drawings from "Harriet the Spy," which is one of my favorite books of all time. i saw each one in all of its glorious simplicity and rendered with the care of someone who was truly blessed with understanding human beings. i was pretty moved, to be honest; which means i cried a little bit in the small gallery, standing in front of Harrison Withers and Mrs. Plumber and Harriet in all of her spy gear and especially at the picture of Sport and Janie from the end of the book.
and then when i went into the gift shop, well, you saw what it was like there. it is always hard for me to walk out of there without spending too much money, but then again, i always spend too much money. when i first saw you i had already bought nine books and left but then i ran back inside to buy the "Charlotte's Web" tote bag as well, because it was still calling my name.
and the woman at the counter with the beautiful skin wanted to take a picture of my Harriet tatttoo and she did, and that made me a little bit buzzy, as well.
however, james, YOU were my main inspiration of the day.
there you were, in your wraparound, rubber blue glasses and buttoned-down shirt, holding a collage from the art studio. you showed it to me so proudly, and then stated,
"everyone should try something new now and then."
the whole store was listening to you. we were all enthralled.
so i began asking you questions, and you began asking me questions, and suddenly i knew that your family was from texas and you were going to vermont later
(and i interjected that i was also going to vermont later as well)
and we shook hands and you said, "nice to meet you, holly."
and your mom said you should tell me why you are going to vermont (and this is when i guessed: homeschooled-christian-onthespectrum-sensory needs--but honestly, that is just some teacher bullshit that you don't have to worry about, james) and then you told me that you studied vermont and they had real maple syrup there and mooses! and then you said, in a whisper-secret voice, "do you know who i learned about who is famous from there?"
and i said, "who?"
and you said, "snowflake bentley." with a huge smile. and then i couldn't contain myself, james, i just couldn't. i said, "you know what? i have TWO picture books about him!" and you said, "so do i!" and then i said, "and guess what? because i'm an adult i can have some tattoos, can i show you something?" and i turned around and lifted my necklace and showed you my neck, where a bentley snowflake is part of my skin.
and you said, from behind me, "you have a SNOWFLAKE!"
and then you hugged me.
your parents were trying to pull you away, because they were shopping and on vacation and they needed to keep you moving, so when you went to the other side of the store and i stood in line at the register i thought it was over, our little moment.
but then you kept talking to me, and peeking at me, and telling me that we could meet in Vermont. that we would probably see me there. you told me that you would be at ben and jerry's later--would i be there? and that when you got to your hotel, you would draw me a picture and send it to me.
six years old, you told me. of course. i am the flame for six-year old moths like you.
so james, even though we did have to wave goodbye (eight times) and even though i probably won't see you in vermont (although maybe i will--maybe we are fated to be together again) i wanted to tell you something.
people will probably have a tough time with you, james. they won't understand everything about you--your enthusiasm for life, your gregariousness, you wide-open heart--and they just might throw some judgments your way as you get older. (and i did already in the gift shop, and for that i am sorry.)
you, my fifteen-minute friend, are a treasure. your light is undeniable and powerful, and you will bring great joy to this world. you probably will change it for the better. you will be a force to reckon with, and you will create new and wondrous things that will make this world shine brighter.
you, james, are simply fantastic. and if someday you are stuck between thoughts or people or finding it hard to trust yourself or wondering how to connect to the next moment of your life, just know that i am in your corner, james. i will remember you always and hope that you somehow can feel me pulling for you.
thanks for making my acquaintance and keeping me very occupied while waiting in line, and thanks for showing me your art, and thanks for reminding me that there is hope, always hope, just simmering in a small child. i can always count on that, can't i?
hope you love vermont, james. i'll keep my eye out for you.
love,
your friend holly
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