happy holidays.
i've been here, in my parents' home, for a little less than three days, and i've maintained an aura of goodwill and good cheer that i'm pretty proud of. i've overlooked my parents' sniping at each other and let moments float by me where i used to jump in and engage in the madness. instead i've just offered up as much love as possible.
until this afternoon when we were going to exchange presents with my brother's family.
my mom insisted that she read the story of christmas to the grandchildren before they open the gifts. she insisted (erroneously) that she has read them the story every year. and she started off on us about how we've forgotten about the true meaning of why we celebrate christmas. why WE celebrate xmas.
we, meaning my family.
and the truth is, my children don't think about jesus's birth for a second during this time of year. they are not being raised in any church, under any mantle of belief other than we are here on this earth to take care of each other. they have to find their own way, make their own spiritual path, whatever that may be. it is not up to me or my husband to dictate an idea to them.
and it certainly is not up to my mother.
having a discussion (argument) about whether i found it appropriate that she decided to share a book about the birth of jesus under the heading of "this is why WE celebrate christmas" may have seemed overwrought and ridiculous to some. maybe better to let that one just float by? maybe i should have just sucked it up, the way i've done the past couple of days?
i couldn't. just couldn't.
i let her read the damn book, but as she closed with her grand overview of this holy holiday i threw out there, "yes, but we are not christians, and so we celebrate christmas as a cultural event--we celebrate because we can be with family." but of course this is not the true meaning of christmas. not valid. not real. i am among the non-believers, and i am not to be trusted.
i can't imagine how my mother feels about having a daughter like me.
a daughter, for instance, who listens to her mother wish a very hearty, very aggressive, "NO, Merry CHRISTMAS!!" to the nice young woman who helps us in anthropologie, as she is buying said daughter a shirt for her birthday, in response to the young woman saying "happy holidays!" a daughter who looks in the line behind them, sees many people smirking and listening, some not so happy with the outburst, and then loudly proclaims, "what's wrong with happy holidays! she could celebrate diwali for all you know!" a daughter who then walks out with this mother and begins arguing about allowing for other faiths to be represented at this time of year while the mother argues her incredibly detailed point about this nation being a "christian nation"; one founded on "christian ideals"; what's so wrong about reminding people of that? and then said mother yells something like, "your PC-ness drives me crazy sometimes!!"
jesus mary and saint joseph.
its that moment in my favorite holiday movie, "home for the holidays", where holly hunter asks dylan mcdermott, "do you ever look at these people and wonder, who are these people? where did i come from?" and he tells her, "i do, but then i just look at them and think they must be thinking the exact same thing about me."
its the holidays. its happening all around me. tonight, before i head out to my aunt's house to spend time with more relatives, i wanted to re-christen (pun) this blog, usher it into a new era of writing, and in doing so hope that those of you who are reading it are somehow sharing this holiday season with your families. perhaps you are having a moment yourself. perhaps you are wondering how you will make it through.
i stand with you, my friends. i stand with you in the glory of the season, in friendship and family, in sacred moments of arguing and yelling in the most holy of ways, the ways that only people who love and loathe each other know how to do.
peace out.
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