heavy lifting.

who am i, but a woman in central massachusetts with a roof over her head, food to eat, and basic human needs met?

i've been reeling a bit from the world today; my in-laws get the globe and i've been reading the newspaper again after a long time gone from it, and it's hard not to get caught up in the state. of. the. world.  and with that, i mean the people of the world.  my sisters and brothers.  because that's how it feels right now, this pain in my heart.  this is what it feels like to have the whole world reside inside of me.

egypt. may peace prevail, may democracy come clean, may no more innocents be taken away.  

guantanamo.  all that is holy, release these men.  give them what is right and decent and fair, under the laws of human decency and love.  do this now, and with haste.

nigeria. no more guns, no more violence, no more children shot at their school desks.  find the way to be one people again, find the way to solidarity and peaceful life.  no more lost.

 these people are me.  i am them.  do you understand?  do you feel this, too?  

helpless, guilty, saddened, lost.  full of despair.  knowing that i will hold this heavy within me tonight, but somehow in the morning i will wake up under my covers after a night in a bed with someone who loves me and take the time to go for a run, on my own, through this town, in relative safety and calm.

i am beyond lucky.  i am beyond lucky.  i am beyond blessed.  so are you.  we all are, in this neck of the woods.

just by the fate of parentage and heritage and geography and dna, i am me: fair-skinned, blond-haired, blue-eyed, woman, United States citizen.  able-bodied, able-minded.  lucky, lucky, lucky.

and its moments like these that i take stock and sit in my bubble and just breathe, offer air, offer hope, and prayers, and light, and solidarity, with these oppressed family members that i have never met. i can only do this right now.

but there is always more to do, isn't there?  there is always more i can do.  and yet, most days, i choose to take a breath, turn the page, close the link, skip the video, and not lay my eyes upon the suffering that is all around me.  it is here, it is there.  interchangeable.

i'm unable to come to a conclusion, nice and neat, pretty this post up with a bow and send it on its way.  i'm fallible, and lazy, and so, so entitled.  dear god, i know this to be true.

send a prayer to the world tonight.  to this boy, to his people, to the men in chains, to the woman who wail, to the soldiers who fight, to the pussy riot in prison, to the survivors, the witnesses, the children.

pray, pray, pray, as hard as you possibly can.  

and then tomorrow morning, let's do something, anything, to make a dent.  give a little, give a lot: amnesty international, doctors without borders, red cross . . . anything.  

we are all one, together.  there has to be some kind of hope in that.