foiled walk in the groton place woods replaced by whining child has to pee won't in the woods and sticky bug stuff that won't let me rest
child in shower asking for me to wash her hair to carry her on walk to make another choice available to her when the choices presented are not to her liking
well fuck, you little jerk, this isn't exactly to my liking either this having to retreat to tread on the old path to slip and slide through the mud where the happy dogs just were
oh how i wish i were them today so sloppy and greeting each other with abandon and wanton displays of life happiness and justified behavior
instead i am here rat-a-tat-tatting this post on keys that are being abused while she interrupts me to help her check her hair is the soap all out mommy and i go in and put on my patient voice while i check and then slam the door for good measure
just to show her i can
today was spent with each other minute upon minute in the sweaty house the gray of the day descending upon us like a mist from the ocean and infiltrating our moods one minute laughing like you can't stop us next minute there is nothing but discontent
now is the summer of our discontent
i love my child i love her i love myself i love being her mother but goddamn days like today make me wonder about my skills or lack thereof and i am just plum tired out from this eight-year old daughter of mine who yesterday said:
"i can't help it!! when i'm tired i'm rude and i don't know why!!"
at least the little shit is honest.
i hope the rest of the party is enjoying the walk in the woods, where my legs and heart and eyes ought to be, instead of staring at this screen and yelling at it
everything happens everything moves on everything happens everything just happens and then its all okay again.
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